We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.
– Sheryl Sandberg –
Have you lost sight of yourself, your dreams, goals, and purpose in life?
Is there something in you that desires to live out your purpose or discover your life purpose? Well, you are not alone. You will learn about the importance of a daily practice of self-awareness and how it will benefit your life.
I know life is busy sometimes, and that feels normal. In doing life, we sometimes lose sight of ourselves. Becoming whatever we need to become at the time. We become busy doing what we believe is the right thing to do. Busyness has been the way of life. I am asking you to slow down a little and daily practice of self-awareness.
One of the first things we will begin on this journey of change and growth is developing a daily practice of self-awareness. It will start by engaging in activities that will help you slow down and clarify yourself. You will become aware of where you are physically and emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Self-awareness will help give an accurate picture of the internal self.
Being Present in the Moment
My definition of self-awareness is; being in the present moment, seeing, feeling, hearing, and perceiving all around me and within me—allowing myself to be and sit with my thoughts and take notes. I note where they go, why I dwell on this, if negative, and where this thought will get me.
As we have lost sight of ourselves, we also lose sight of our purpose. Think about those dreams you had when you were younger and how excited you were when you thought about living them out. Where did those dreams go, and when did you bury them?
How do we become the person that we desire to be?
By acknowledging who you currently are and what your desires are about moving forward.
In creating this life, there are things you should not do.
You may have seen pictures of people sitting on a mountain top meditating. But rest assured, you do not need to do that to better yourself. Start with where you are at, with those that are around you, and evolve.
I have already given you my definition of self-awareness. But we will discuss the meaning further. I will touch a little bit on negative thoughts and not allow them to stop you. Also, I will move into the importance of becoming self-aware and discuss a couple of activities that you can begin to engage in that will start you on this journey.
What is self-awareness?
According to the dictionary, self-awareness is the “conscious knowledge of one’s character, feelings, motives, and desire.” Through self-awareness, you can see yourself more clearly. It helps you focus your attention on your inner self. With the knowledge you will learn from doing the work, you will be able to self-evaluate and compare it to where you have been and where you want to go.
“Self-awareness refers to the capacity of becoming the object of one’s attention.” (Duval & Wicklund, 1972). “This is where you would actively identify, process, and store information about yourself.” (Morin, 2011).
As a kid, somebody may have told you to think of others and never yourself. Another saying was, “thinking of yourself is selfish.” Well, you never know what you are supposed to be like unless you become aware of what you are like at this moment.
Becoming self-aware is not for selfish reasons. It is for this reason that you continue to grow and live out your purpose. In doing so, you become a service to others.
Why is a Daily Practice of Self-awareness Important
To discover ourselves. Our true selves outside of our circumstances and life experiences. We need to heal our inner selves; your younger self is waiting for you to bring them into your existence. The one that is waiting for you to pour into them.
Have you ever made life decisions and noticed that you continue to make the same mistakes over and over? I have experienced that, and I went from one wrong decision to the next. The bad thing about it was that I thought I was doing something right at that time.
Because I did not take the time to discover myself, I was not aware of my brokenness. Out of that brokenness came poor decisions. I did have an inkling of an idea but did not take the steps I needed to allow myself to heal. Fear kept me from making the right decisions for my life. Fear was not just a feeling; I had become one with fear in every realm of life. Most of the decisions I made as an adult were rooted in fear until about four years ago.
Based on my experience, the opposite of fear is love. Through a daily practice of self-awareness, you will gain a more profound love for yourself and others. You will also begin to understand where love comes from.
Self-awareness will give you clarity in your mind and your spirit. It helps you see yourself for who you are and help you heal the wounds that keep you that way. You will begin to see injuries you did not even know you had. Please do not run from them. I will show you just a couple of activities you can incorporate into your life to start you on your journey of becoming self-aware.
SPENDING TIME WITH YOURSELF IS NOT SELFISH!
Negative thoughts about spending time with yourself may come to you. Your thoughts may tell you that you do not have time for this; this is stupid; it is not working; this is a waste of my time; I can do this later or do not need to do this. Whatever the thought is, if it keeps you from knowing yourself, then it is a negative thought that will keep you stuck in life.
When the negative thoughts come, begin practicing self-talk by telling yourself, “this is for my growth, this is for my purpose, this is because I long to live, really live.” In essence, self-awareness will better equip you to serve others.
You will want to judge yourself. Do so to learn and grow, not to make yourself feel bad. Besides, you will compare yourself only with yourself. Comparing yourself to others automatically induces negative thinking, which is a path you do not want to go down. Negative thinking will not bring about change but will keep you stagnant. For example, if I always tell myself that I cannot do something, that will keep me from taking the steps I need to move forward.
According to Dr. Caroline Leaf, “our thoughts produce words and behaviors, which in turn stimulate more thinking and choices that build more thoughts in an endless cycle.”
I am saying that you have to change the thoughts that keep you stuck. You may even think, “I failed at this before,” which may be accurate, but there is nothing wrong with trying again. And again! And again!
Keep Trying
Life does not stop, so why stop trying.
Now, there is this belief that you have no control over your thoughts. You may not have control over what thoughts pop into your mind, but you do have control over whether you will dwell on them.
For example: (By the way, I love giving examples.) Say I was cut off in traffic and given the finger because I was going the speed limit. Two days later, the thought about the incident pops into my mind. Now I have two choices. I can choose to think about something else and tell myself, “that is over with,” or I can dwell on it and become angry all over again.
Activities to Increase Your Daily Practice of Self-awareness
Meditation
There are several different ways (and various reasons) to practice meditation. I have my prayer and meditation time. Prayer is where I talk to God, and meditation is where I listen to God. During this particular meditation, I usually receive something, so I write down whatever comes to me. I engage in guided meditation, which directs listeners to relax their minds and body. Depending on which one you do, guided meditation can bring an awareness of God’s presence. It also brings an understanding of the different parts and areas of your body that needs your attention. It helps you to become aware of what is going on inside of you.
Meditation shuts off my fight or flight system. I use this also when I know I am going into or coming out of a stressful situation to assess myself. It also works when I do not want to think about anything. I have recently begun sound meditation, where I focus on sounds that cause calmness and relaxation.
Through meditation, you begin to love yourself and take the necessary steps to change and grow.
Mindfulness
One thing about mindfulness that you need to remember is to be in the present moment. Focus on the here and now. Yes, there will be times when your mind will wander but always bring your thoughts back to your breath and surroundings.
Mindfulness and meditation go hand in hand. There are several ways to practice mindfulness to help you become aware of your present state and not live in the past or future. There are a few ways I bring myself back to the present moment. Yes, my mind wonders just like yours, even while writing this blog. I just reminded myself to focus on my subject and what is in front of me—laptop, camera, coffee, note pad, etc. But I also do purposeful mindfulness. One of my favorites is walking mindfully.
Examples of How I Practice Mindfulness
While walking in my neighborhood or at the park, I bring my awareness to my surroundings. Purposefully seeing the trees, birds, squirrels, chipmunks, deer, fox, raccoons, beavers, turtles, and snakes (all in my back yard), and if I am at a park or on a trail, there are other animals that I may see as well. I allow myself to take in their presence and feel joy for being in their company and watching them enjoy their lives. I sit with that feeling for a while and allow it to resonate throughout my body.
Enjoy The Present Moment
I also purposefully practice mindfulness by a body of water or streams of water. For some reason, moving water is healing to my soul, and it is not just the sound but also the power it creates. Water is powerful, gives life, and takes it away, and it soothes my mind.
In the presence of moving water, I do a lot of internal work. I bring my awareness to the sound and the acknowledgment of the power behind it. For some reason, I hear God clearly when I am by a body of water, and I have experienced a lot of healing by the water.
There are a couple of places here in Michigan where I will go and sit by moving water. The next time you are by a body of water, listen to it and allow it to resonate within you.
Allow yourself to feel, write down what the water brings up within you, and sit with it. Once again, yes, your mind will wander but bring your focus back to the present. Do not worry about your wandering mind, do not beat yourself up over it; refocus, that is it. No worries!
Begin to practice mindfulness and meditation. You may need to start when you can but make sure you start.
Welcome to the beginning of your daily practice of self-awareness.