Bold Self-Care
Pour into yourself, so you will be able to pour into others.
“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.”
BOLD SELF-CARE
Do you care for yourself or neglect yourself?
It is easy to go through life, take care of everything and everyone, and not make time for yourself. Life happens, and we forget about our own needs and desires.
Do you find yourself wrapped up in work, significant others, kids, helping family and friends? Do you find yourself saying “yes” when you want to say “no”?
You are there whenever people need you, and you feel emotionally drained. Well, it is time for some bold self-care.
Are you tired yet? Is resentment building up?
Bold self-care is vital for your overall health. I say bold self-care because it will take boldness to focus on yourself. It will take courage to say “yes” to your needs and “no” to others.
Taking time to take care of yourself will give you the ability to keep going. First, you have to give yourself time to re-energize.
And yes, you need to put yourself first.
Hear me out!
I constantly remind people to take care of themselves. I have noticed that some people do not know what that looks like. For so long, they have put others first, and by the time people come to see me, they are struggling in life and do not recognize their needs.
Is that you?
Do you find yourself caring for others and neglecting your needs?
Have you neglected yourself for so long that you do not even recognize that you have needs?
If you can say “YES, THAT IS ME,” then stick with me. And I will give you some tips on how to get started recognizing, acknowledging, and creating a routine that will help you enrich your life by taking care of yourself.
1. SPEND TIME ALONE
It is necessary to spend some time alone. It may not be daily, but at some point during your week. Take time and shut down all distractions, and sit in quietness. Get to know yourself.
Do your thoughts and feelings line up? Do your thoughts, feelings, and actions line up? Are you representing your true self when with others? What needs to change?
Spend time thinking about yourself. Only you! Do you know yourself?
- What do you love?
- What do you hate?
- Acknowledge your dreams and ambitions?
- What are your values and life purpose?
- Most dreamed about vacation?
- What are your desires and longings?
Do you know yourself, or are you just going through life numb? I understand! Being numb to yourself sometimes is the only way to get through the day in one piece. When you numb yourself from the bad, you also numb yourself from the good, and you miss out on life.
While assessing yourself, discover what causes you to neglect your feelings. What are you afraid of, or afraid will happen? As you sit alone, allow yourself to feel. Sit with those feelings. Acknowledge that they are there and will enable them to flow through you. Journal what you learned from your emotions.
How To Find Time Alone
- Get up an hour early.
- Lunchtime
- During the weekend.
- Decrease screen time.
- In the evenings.
- Instead of a happy hour, have a self-care hour.
The important thing is spending time alone and getting to know yourself.
2.EATING RIGHT FOR YOU
Now, I say eating right, just know that will be different for everyone. There are a few things that are not beneficial to anyone. Chemicals in foods, added sugar, unhealthy fats, too much salt, to name a few. Any meal that makes you feel tired and sluggish afterward, no matter how good it tastes, is not good for you because food is supposed to give our bodies energy and not drain our bodies of the energy it needs to keep moving.
Because everyone is different, you will have to test the foods you eat and decide. Does it make you feel energize or sluggish after eating it? Keep track of the foods that benefit your body. If possible, go and get a physical and find out what your body lacks and add foods that contain those vitamins and minerals to your list of foods to eat.
If you do not regularly eat fruits and vegetables, try one new fruit or vegetable a week. Search for recipes on how to eat it and/or cook it. For example, yesterday, I saw Jackfruit at the grocery store. That is a new and unusual fruit that maybe you would want to try. Now I buy it in the can because it is a lot of work to cut open and clean out. If you are adventurous, that may be something you would like to put on your list of foods to try when in season.
The Key to Eating Right For You
- Find out what your body needs.
- Fill up on fruits and vegetables.
- Eliminate chemicals and processed foods.
- Read the food labels and make an educated decision.
- Discover what foods at your favorite restaurant will benefit you.
- WATER – DRINK HALF OF YOUR NORMAL BODY WEIGHT IN OUNCES.
Here are a few of my favorite sites that help me stick to eating healthy.
You may be thinking about what the benefit is of eating healthy. Research has shown that eating healthy reduces the risk of diseases. Your body will feed off the nutrients from the foods you digest and give you energy. Brain and heart health will benefit from proper nutrients. Increased concentration, better mood, decrease in heart disease. The research favors eating healthy and the right amount of food. Do not just go on a diet, create permanent lifestyle changes.
3. EXERCISE REGULARLY
We look at exercise as something that we do only if we have time or if we feel like it, but it is for our overall health. Exercising affects us not only physically but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I want you to begin to look at exercise as a necessary key to your overall health.
Exercise comes in all forms. But before you get started, it is important to have a physical and discuss your plans with your doctor. You have to first decide what type of exercise will benefit you and help you meet your needs. Everyone’s needs are different, so take time and discover what you want your goals to be. You will need to incorporate some cardio in your routine; whether it is aerobics or walking, that is your preference. Whatever cardio you choose is up to you. Just know that cardio will help get your body moving.
You should also include strength training in your exercising regimen. It will increase your strength and bone density. According to research, strength training also benefits you mentally and emotionally as well.
How do you find time to exercise?
- Schedule time to exercise in your planner.
- Walk a dog. (If you have one)
- Run or walk while watching your favorite show.
- Get up 30 minutes early.
- Go to the gym right after work.
- Walk or run during your lunch.
- Take your kids on a family walk.
- Sign up to play a sport.
- Coach a team.
Here are a few of my favorite sites that help me stick to an exercising schedule.
Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. You will not be able to find the time, so make time—schedule exercising. You may start with 10 minutes a day for three days a week. It is a start. It is a good start. Aerobics may be too much to start with. Walking up and down your street is sufficient. Just start!
Begin!
Schedule 10 minutes in your day. Just begin! It does not have to be at the same time every day. THAT IS OK! Just decide what days and times you will exercise and get up and move.
The key is finding a routine that you eventually will enjoy doing. Walking, biking, running. Using a treadmill, elliptical, a stair stepper. Try a multitude of different exercises. You may want to try a fitness trainer at your local gym or on YouTube. Just keep searching until you find something beneficial but enjoyable.
Make sure you have a physical before you start any exercise program. In addition, if needed, stay in communication with your doctor to make sure you are doing the right thing for your body.
I am telling you this from experience. You may think you are doing the right thing, but it may not benefit you as it should.
NEVER GIVE UP! KEEP GOING!
4. SLEEP
The body needs time to rest. Sleep is essential for your well-being. Concentration increases with an adequate amount of sleep. You will be able to think and process circumstances better. Sleep helps the body to heal and regenerate itself. During sleep, your cells are repaired, and your brain processes your experience from the day. Getting enough sleep lowers your stress and improves your overall mood. It also helps individuals not to overeat at night, which lowers the risk of heart disease and diabetes.
Now think about it. How do you feel when you get enough sleep? Assess yourself! How much sleep do you need to feel rested? Everyone is different, so test yourself. Monitor your sleep pattern. Figure out how long it takes you to fall asleep. Do you stay asleep all night or get up at times? Decide where you are currently at and what you need to do.
Once you have your baseline of how much rest you need, schedule it in your calendar. Sleep is important. Do not leave that out of your schedule, or you will waiver on the amount you feel you need. If you believe you do not need any sleep, seek medical advice.
STEPS TO IMPROVE YOUR SLEEP
- Avoid caffeine after 12 noon.
- Turn off screens, including television, an hour before bed.
- Eat your last meal 4 hours before bed.
- Journal your days’ activities and stressors.
- Write down the next day’s agenda.
- Write down any problems you need to solve.
- Read a book
- Practice deep breathing while lying down.
5. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Yes, relationships affect our health. There is a clear link between social relationships and health. If you write down your thoughts, how many pertain to your different relationships.
DO YOUR RELATIONSHIPS CAUSE YOU JOY OR STRESS?
Take an assessment of your relationships. Decided if they are healthy, neutral, or unhealthy? How do you feel after talking or spending time with a friend or family member? Are there people pouring into you, or do you find yourself giving, giving, and giving? Or, are you depleted afterward? Do you feel that you need to work on your relationships and create a balance?
In the past, my life consisted of pouring into others; I lacked bold self-care and ignored my own needs. That went on for so long that I hit rock bottom. I was depleted. Feelings of resentment, depression, and neglect surfaced because I did not verbalize my needs throughout my relationships. I waited so long! When I verbalized them, I was rejected, neglected, and taken advantage of.
Take a good assessment of your relationships and decide what changes that you need to make if any. What do you have control over and do not have control over?
Relationships, if unhealthy, can cause physical, mental, and spiritual illness. Stress can trigger your fight, flight, or freeze system. You may find yourself struggling with concentrating or unable to process circumstances. Do you get headaches or stomach aches often? Is stress residing throughout your body?
Relationships are supposed to build us up and give us the strength to keep going. Good relationships help to relieve stress.
How to have healthy relationships:
- Develop healthy boundaries.
- Be assertive
- Spend quality time with others.
- Solve problems quickly.
- Forgive and move forward.
Conclusion
Starting on a self-care routine, you should consider spending time alone, eating what is right for you, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and maintain healthy relationships.
Start with one change at a time. Implement it into your daily routine. After some time, it will become a habit.